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Англійський оригінал · основний файл
Ever since childhood, Lin Xiaoyu had harbored a deep fear of the water. She always felt that beneath the ocean's deep emerald waves lay countless corpses and myriad ghosts.\nYear after year, the coastal fisherfolk would set floating altars adrift upon the sea. She would sit on the shore, her gaze fixed upon those tiny candles flickering amidst the ripples. Illuminated by the altars' flames, the people's faces refracted a chilling light reminiscent of bloated corpses; their shifting silhouettes seemed to clamor, yet also seemed to weep. Xiaoyu suspected that the souls of the drowned were bustling just beneath the water's surface.\nShe thought to herself that it would be better to raise goats. By herding them daily to graze, shearing their wool to spin yarn, and taking their milk to sell at the grand market, she would never lack food or clothing, and it would be far safer than venturing out to sea.\nYet her parents claimed she was born to belong to the waters, for her features closely resembled the Matriarch of the Sea worshipped in every household. They dotted her brow with a red mole; at a glance, she looked exactly like the divine statue.\nLin Xiaoyu did not wish to be the Sea Goddess, though playing the part had its advantages. Whenever the older children tore apart the colorful little boats she had folded, she only needed to stand upon a high place, harden her face, and coldly declare, "The Sea Goddess no longer favors you!" The flock of mischievous brats would immediately scatter like frightened birds.\nThe year Lin Xiaoyu finally obtained a flock of goats of her own, a merchant caravan arrived in town, seeking to recruit helmsmen for a distant voyage.\nThose merchants took her parents away, along with the parents of many other children in the village. A long, long time passed thereafter, so long that another layer of rough edges was worn away from the coastal reefs, yet still no ships returned. The sounds of weeping rose and fell across the village like the ocean tide.\nLin Xiaoyu did not cry. She hid in her house, crafting countless colorful little boats, and handed them out to the children on the shore one by one. Mimicking the tone of the Sea Goddess, she told them solemnly that their fathers, mothers, grandfathers, and grandmothers would all return!\nBut she was not the true Sea Goddess, and she could not shelter the distant ships. No one returned that year, including her parents.\nFloating altars were lined up densely along the coastline. Staring at the water's surface, Xiaoyu listened to the elders cry out, "Oh, Sea Goddess, please let them return..."\nSuddenly, she was no longer afraid of the water. The Sea Goddess resided within it, and the ancestors of every family resided within it too. It was the origin of all people, and the final destination for all.\nStep by step, she walked into the sea, letting the waves wash over her ankles, then her knees, until the water gently lifted her entire body. The elders were right; she was born to belong to the sea. Like a fish released back into the wild, she stretched her limbs with unbridled freedom.\nOnce again, she heard her mother's voice telling stories beneath the lamp, heard her father's endless admonitions before his departure, and heard them praying together. "Oh, Sea Goddess, please bless our daughter..."\nLin Xiaoyu opened her eyes underwater, her tears dissolving into the salty brine. So many parents had perished in the sea, and so many children wept upon the shore. Deep down, she prayed, "Oh, Sea Goddess, I beg you to bestow your blessings, and let the souls of our parents ride the waves back home..."\nNo one saw her cry. Only the fish saw it. Only the sea knew.\nShe remained in the water for a very long time, pondering many things. She thought of the treasure ship, of her parents, of the legendary Master of the Seas, and of the merchants who had taken her parents away.\nShe knew everything, and the sea knew everything. Yet, upon swimming back to the shore, Lin Xiaoyu pressed her lips tightly together, speaking not a single word to anyone.
Китайська довідка · основний файл
林小鱼自幼畏水。她总觉得,大海那沉碧色的波涛之下有好多尸体,有好多的鬼。\n年年月月,沿海的渔户们总要往海里放水祭坛。她就坐在岸边,直勾勾地盯着那些小灯烛在水波里摇晃。祭坛的烛火映照之下,人们的脸像浮尸的面孔般折射令人惊悸的光,影影绰绰的,似在喧嚷,又似在哭。林小鱼疑心溺毙者的魂灵就在水面下熙攘。\n林小鱼想,不如养羊。每天牵着羊群吃草,剪了羊毛纺线,挤了羊奶带去大集上卖,不愁吃穿,还比出海稳当。\n可爹娘说,她生来是属于水的,眉眼像极了家家户户供奉的海神娘娘。他们往她的眉心点上一点红痣,乍看和神像一模一样。\n林小鱼不想做海神娘娘,但做海神娘娘还是有好处的。每当那些半大孩子把她扎的小彩船弄得七零八落,她只需往高处一站,把脸一板,冷生生丢下一句:“海神娘娘不喜欢你了!”那群顽童便作鸟兽散。\n\n林小鱼真正拥有自己羊群的那年,镇上来了商队,要招募舵手远航。\n那些客商带走了她的爹娘,也带走了村里许多孩子的爹娘。此后好久好久,久到岸边的礁石又被削去一层棱角,依旧不见舟船归航。村子里的哭声此起彼伏,像海潮一样。\n林小鱼没哭。她躲进屋里,扎了好多好多的小彩船,在岸边一个一个发给孩子们。她学着海神娘娘的腔调,郑重地对他们说:“阿爹阿娘阿爷阿奶都会回来!”\n但她终究不是海神娘娘,庇佑不了远航的船。那年谁也没有回来,包括她的爹娘。\n水祭坛沿着海岸线摆开,密密匝匝,林小鱼盯着水面,听老人们哭喊:“海神娘娘哟,让他们回来吧……”\n她忽然不再害怕水了。海神娘娘在水里,家家户户的祖先也在水里,那是所有人的来处,也是所有人的归处。\n她一步步朝海里走去,让海浪没过脚踝,再没过膝盖,最后温柔地托起她的整个身躯。老人们说得对,她天生属于大海。她像一尾被放归的鱼,恣意地伸展着肢体。\n她又听见娘在灯下讲故事的声音,听见爹临行前絮絮叨叨的叮嘱,听见他们一起说:“海神娘娘哟,保佑我们的女儿哟……”\n\n林小鱼在水中睁开眼,泪水融入咸腥的海。许许多多的爹娘死在海里,许许多多的孩子在海边哭泣。她在心里说:“海神娘娘哟,求您降下福祉,让爹娘的魂灵顺着海浪回来……”\n没有人看见她哭。只有鱼看见。只有大海知道。\n她在海里想了很久很久。想宝船,想爹娘,想传说中的大海之主,也想那些带走她爹娘的客商。\n她什么都知道,大海也什么都知道。但游上岸之后,林小鱼把嘴唇抿得紧紧的,什么也没有同旁人说。
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